Solastalgia and Fire: Written for the Australian Black Summer of 2019-2020. Re-written for the Northern Hemisphere summer of 2022.

Glenn Albrecht, Australia’s ‘Person General’.

We are all being fucked by the fickle finger of failure. The land that we love is being fried and a bunch of fuckwits in charge are doing nothing about it. It is frying because the joint is getting fucking hotter. Our trees and gardens are fucking dying and frying because of fucking climate warming. People are being fried because of fucking fires. All that nasty smoke? It is the smell of fucking burnt Bambi.

Bob Dylan once said that you don’t need to be a weather man to know which way the wind blows. Now, you don’t need to be a fucking climate scientist to know that it is getting fucking hotter and that heat is causing big fucking probs.

People are fucking dying! Our smoked kids have fucking asthma and cannot play outside and their schools become fucking emergency centres as we have to evacuate whole fucking towns.

Towns are running out of fucking water! In the country, we cannot even fight fucking fires because there is no fucking water in a fucking drought. Our fucking fantastic fire fighters have even had to buy their own fucking fire-fighting gear. Fuck me dead, what a fuckup!

Politicians from the two major political parties are worse than fucking useless. All fucking drunk at the party, the fucking fuckwits are turning the gas up on the BBQ and cremating the fucking sausages and vege fuckin patties just when they should be turning the fucking knobs down.

It makes me weep into my fucking beer when I see their inaction turn good beef into charred remains out there in the paddock. And, the fucking red wine is tainted by fucking smoke. That is a fucking disaster. FFS, we often cannot even have a fucking BBQ because there is a total fucking fire ban. Don’t they value what is so fucking good about this country?

It is fucking obvious that we are in a fucking crisis and we need to change fucking direction.

So what the fuck do we do?

For fuck’s sake, we need to turn the fucking gas off and stop burning everything. It is too fucking late to do much when your fucking house is on fire as well as the fucking BBQ. Do you really want to have the fucking problem solved by a fucking Boeing 737 fire bomber dump a shit load of fucking pink piss all over your fucking house?

California fires 2018:

To slow down the heat is fucking easy … we just have to stop fucking burning and exploding every fucking thing. It’s not fucking rocket science. It has been a great fucking fun party fucking blowing things up for a few centuries, but now it is time to move the fuck on.

By good fucking luck, we have all the new fucking gear and kit to do everything we need without the filthy, fucking carbon exhaust. We simply replace expensive fucking fossil fuel combustion with fucking renewable energy. It is a no-fucking-brainer to use fucking energy from the fucking sun that is fucking free!

That will also mean helping those fucked by the fickle finger of renewal and giving them a fucking hand to work in the brave new fucking world. Our former fucking fossil fuel mates will fucking love us. They will invite all to their fucking solar powered house where my solar system is f’in bigger than yours!

Maaaaaaaaate, it’s not hard to slow the fuck down and do things properly. We fucking love our kids and our country so why the fuck don’t we look after them and it? If the reason is because of a bunch of fucking corrupt millionaires, corporations and pollies are making fucking money out of exploding and burning things, it is time to tell them to … fuck off!

Now, more than fucking ever, we need people with some fucking guts who will do something fucking wonderful.


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